Shame signals that our positive feelings have been interrupted.

Another person or a circumstance can trigger shame in us, but so can a failure to meet our ideals or standards.

Shame can make us feel as though our whole self is flawed, harmful, or subject to exclusion, so it motivates us to hide or do something to save face.

So it is no wonder shame avoidance can lead to withdrawal or addictions that attempt to mask its impact.

Shame is often confused with guilt--an emotion we might experience due to wrongdoing about which we might feel remorseful and wish to make amends.

Where we will likely have the urge to admit guilt or talk with others about a situation that left us with guilty feelings, it is much less likely that we will broadcast our shame.

We'll most likely conceal our feelings because shame does not distinguish between an action and the self.

Therefore, with shame, "bad" behavior is not separate from a "bad" self as it is with guilt.

Any situation that devalues the self and triggers shame can also trigger anger or rage.

This includes situations that incite envy, stir up comparisons, evoke fear of abandonment, or rouse fantasies about a rival's relative happiness, among other things.

The anger experienced by a shamed person is like an all-consuming poison, occupying a great deal of conscious thought.

But if one person consumed by shame manages to transfer guilt to another, that person will experience overwhelming toxic repercussions.

It is a shame when a partner takes it on; a loved one, friend, or stranger can become physically and emotionally ill.

Regardless of the trigger, when shame has been experienced, the deterioration of an esteemed sense of self can be devastating.

In addition to the typical emotions accompanying shame, such as envy, anger, rage, and anxiety, we can include sadness, depression, depletion, loneliness, and emptiness. And this is where shame can become a dangerous emotion.

When shame results in self-attack, it is overwhelming. Moreover, it can negatively color how you view yourself and assess the prospect of recovering your self-esteem.

Even so, people do recover from experiencing shame.

They learn a great deal about themselves if they can step back and look at what is happening within them.