Confidence in one's value as a human being is a precious psychological resource and a highly positive factor in life; it correlates with achievement, good relationships, and satisfaction.

Possessing little self-regard can make people depressed, fall short of their potential, or tolerate abusive relationships and situations.

Too much self-love, on the other hand, results in an off-putting sense of entitlement and an inability to learn from failures.

It can also indicate clinical narcissism, in which individuals may behave self-centered, arrogant, and manipulatively.

Self-esteem can influence life in myriad ways, from academic and professional success to relationships and mental health.

Self-esteem, however, is not an immutable characteristic; successes or setbacks, both personal and professional, can fuel fluctuations in feelings of self-worth.

People who experience a steady diet of disapproval from significant others—family, supervisors, friends, and teachers—might have low self-esteem. Still, the healthy individual can weather off-putting evaluations.

Each person's experience is different, but self-esteem seems to rise and fall in predictable, systematic ways throughout the lifespan.

Research suggests that self-esteem grows, by varying degrees, until age 60, when it remains steady before beginning to decline in old age.

Self-actualization represents the pursuit of reaching one’s full potential.

In 1943, Abraham Maslow proposed the hierarchy of psychological needs, illustrating an order of human motivation.

At the base of Maslow’s motivational pyramid lies physiological conditions, such as the air and food we breathe.

Once those needs are met, one can pursue needs for safety, love, belonging, and self-worth.

Self-actualization occurs when the more basic needs are met or in the process of being completed.

Then, it becomes possible to strive to add meaning and personal and social fulfillment to existence—through creativity, intellectual growth, and social progress.

As Maslow stated, “What a man can be, he must be. This needs we may call self-actualization.”

The confident person is easily spotted and commands attention. But there's a healthy balance between too little and too much self-worth.

Here are some signs that an individual has the correct dose.

• Knows the difference between confidence and arrogance
• Is not afraid of feedback
• Does not people-please or seek approval
• Is not scared of conflict
• Can set boundaries
• Can voice needs and opinions
• Is assertive, but not pushy
• Is not a slave to perfection
• Is not afraid of setbacks
• Does not fear failure
• Does not feel inferior
• Accepts who they are

You may need to work on how you perceive yourself if you exhibit any of these signs of poor self-esteem:

• Negative outlook
• Lack of confidence
• Inability to express your needs
• Focus on your weaknesses
• Excessive feelings of shame, depression, or anxiety
• Belief that others are better than you
• Trouble accepting positive feedback
• Intense fear of failure

Healthy self-esteem is based on how we feel about what we can control.

For example, you might not directly control how much money you currently make. Still, you can control how hard you work and the skills you focus on to improve your chances of earning more.

So, instead of beating yourself up for not making much money, you take pride in your work ethic and ability to learn new things and feel good about them.

This makes you feel like a competent person who eventually earns more money.

Toxic self-esteem is derived from external, uncontrollable things in your life. This makes your self-worth a lot more fragile.

The slightest indication that you’re not living up to some external metric can bring the whole facade down.

For example, if you base your self-worth on whether or not everyone likes you, well, as long as you think everyone wants you, you’ll feel good about yourself.

But it also turns you into an overly-sensitive little dickhead, where every little awkward conversation or irritated look makes you question not just your self-worth but the value of life itself.

Toxic forms of self-esteem arise when we pursue self-esteem for its own sake, as an end in itself, rather than just experiencing it as a byproduct of being an intelligent, well-adjusted human being.

When we do this, we end up spending all of our time and energy trying to feel good about something instead of, you know, actually becoming good at something.

Toxic self-esteem fails because setbacks, thorny challenges, and the world taking a shit on us now and then are inevitable.

They are also what push us to grow as humans.

But when we believe we deserve to feel good all the time, anything that makes us feel bad isn’t just a problem to be addressed; it becomes a personal attack on us.

1. Be nice to yourself - That little voice that tells you you’re killin’ it (or not) is way more powerful than you might think. Make an effort to be kind to yourself; if you do slip up, try challenging any negative thoughts. A good rule of thumb is to speak to yourself as you’d talk to your mates. This can be hard at first, but practice makes perfect. If you want pointers, check out our tips for talking yourself up.
2. You do you - Comparing yourself to other people is a surefire way to start feeling crummy. Instead, focus on your goals and achievements rather than measuring them against someone else’s. Nobody needs that kind of pressure!
3. Get movin’ - Exercise is a great way to increase motivation, practice setting goals, and build confidence. Breaking a sweat also cues the body to release endorphins, the feel-good hormones.
4. Nobody’s perfect - Always strive to be the best version of yourself, but it’s also important to accept perfection as an unrealistic goal.
5. Remember that everyone makes mistakes - You’ve got to make mistakes to learn and grow, so try not to beat yourself up.
6. Focus on what you can change - Getting hung up on things out of your control is easy, but it won’t achieve much. So instead, focus your energy on identifying the items within your control and seeing what you can do about them.
7. Do what makes you happy. - If you spend time doing the things you enjoy, you’re more likely to think positively. Try to schedule a little you-time every day. Whether that’s time spent reading, cooking, or just conking out on the couch for a bit, make time for it if it makes you happy.
8. Celebrate the small stuff - You got up on time this morning. Tick. You poached your eggs to perfection. Winning. Celebrating small victories is a great way to build confidence and feel better.
9. Be a pal - Being helpful and considerate to other people will undoubtedly boost their mood, but it’ll also make you feel pretty good about yourself
10. Surround yourself with a supportive squad - Find people who make you feel good about yourself and avoid those who tend to trigger your negative thinking.