Enneagram Type Four People are Sensitive and Withdrawn
Basic Desire – To find themselves and their significance.
Key Motivation – To be and express themselves.
Virtue – Equanimity (emotional balance)
Ego fixation – Melancholy
Color – Violet
Key Characteristics
- Expressive
- Dramatic
- Self-Absorbed
- Temperamental
Focus of Attention
- Fours focus on their feelings, the feelings of others, and interpersonal connection and disconnection.
- They feel deficient about their worth, so they seek idealized experiences of qualities they perceive outside themselves.
Passion – Envy
- Envy manifests as a painful sense of lack and a craving toward that which is felt lacking.
- For Fours, Envy grows from an early understanding of loss that leads to a perception that something good is outside the Four’s experience—and that this something is necessary but missing because of an inner deficiency.
Core Wounds
- You feel estranged, alienated, misunderstood, or different.
- You search for an ideal self that will be seen as loveable and acceptable.
Red Flags
- Fantasize about people, events, or scenarios to stir emotions, create and sustain moods, and intensify feelings to bolster a sense of self.
- They live in imagination rather than the real world.
- An oppressive sense of alienation.
- Unable to sustain relationships.
- Overly touchy.
- An outburst of hostility.
- Chronic hopelessness.
Addictions
- Over-indulgence in rich foods, sweets, and alcohol alters mood, socializing, and emotional consolation.
- Lack of physical activity.
- Bulimia.
- Depression.
- Tobacco, prescription drugs, or heroin for social anxiety.
- Cosmetic surgery to erase rejected features.
Center of Intelligence
Shame – The Heart / Feeling Triad
- Internalizes, or focuses their shame, inwardly.
- There’s no way anyone else could understand what they deal with, and they are wholly unique.
- The desire for uniqueness and emotional depth gives a feeling of artistic melancholy on average Fours.
- Fours tend to be intuitive, unique, self-absorbed, and temperamental.
Fear – of lacking a unique, significant identity.
- Fours strive to prove their uniqueness and individuality to others.
- Their pervasive, underlying fear is that they would be worthless and unlovable if they were average.
- Therefore, they must cultivate as unique an identity as possible to prove their significance.
- Fours constantly aim to move away from normalcy and towards expressions of intensity and individuality.
Traits
Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal but can also be moody and self-conscious.
They withhold themselves from others because they feel vulnerable and defective. They can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of life.
Fours typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. However, they can also be inspired and highly creative and renew and transform one’s experiences.
They maintain their identity by seeing themselves as fundamentally different from others.
Fours feel they are unlike other human beings and, consequently, no one can understand or love them adequately.
They often see themselves as uniquely talented, possessing unique, one-of-a-kind gifts, and as uniquely disadvantaged or flawed.
Fours are acutely aware of and focused on your differences and deficiencies.
When healthy, people are honest with themselves, own their feelings, and can examine their motives, contradictions, and emotional conflicts without denying or whitewashing themselves.
They may not necessarily like what you discover, but they do not try to rationalize or hide their states from themselves or others.
Fours are willing to reveal highly personal and potentially shameful things about themselves because they are determined to understand the truth of their experience, discover who they are, and come to terms with their emotional history.
This ability enables them to endure suffering with quiet strength.
Their familiarity with their darker nature makes it easier to process painful experiences that might overwhelm other types.
Nevertheless, they often feel they are missing something in themselves, although they may have difficulty identifying exactly what that “something” is.
Is it willpower? Social ease? Self-confidence? Emotional tranquility?—all they see in others, seemingly in abundance.
Given time and reasonable perspective, they generally recognize that they are unsure about aspects of their self-image—their personality or ego structure.
They feel you lack a clear and stable identity, particularly a social persona they feel comfortable with.
While they often feel different from others, they do not want to be alone.
They may feel socially awkward or self-conscious, but they sincerely wish to connect with people who understand their feelings.
The “romantics” of the Enneagram long for someone to come into their lives and appreciate the secret self they have privately nurtured and hidden from the world.
If, over time, such validation remains out of reach, they build their identity around how unlike everyone else they are.
Fours become an individualist: everything must be done on their own, in their way, on their terms.
The mantra becomes, “I am myself; nobody understands me; I am different and special. ” Secretly, they wish they could enjoy the ease and confidence that others seem to enjoy.
They often have problems with a negative self-image and chronically low self-esteem.
Fours attempts to compensate for this by cultivating a Fantasy Self—an idealized self-image built primarily in their imagination.
They may try several different identities for size based on styles, preferences, or qualities they find attractive in others.
But underneath the surface, they still feel uncertain about who they are.
The problem is that they base their identity mainly on your feelings.
Looking inward, they see a kaleidoscopic, ever-shifting pattern of emotional reactions.
Indeed, they accurately perceive the truth about human nature—that it is dynamic and ever-changing.
But because they want to create a stable, reliable identity from their emotions, they attempt to cultivate only certain feelings while rejecting others.
By attempting to hold on to specific moods and express others, some feelings are seen as “me,” while others are “not me.”
Fours believe that they are being true to themselves.
One of your biggest challenges is learning to let go of feelings from the past; they tend to nurse wounds and hold onto negative feelings about those who have hurt them.
Indeed, they can become so attached to longing and disappointment that they do not recognize the many treasures in their lives.
When Healthy | When Unhealthy |
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Warm Compassionate Introspective Expressive Creative Intuitive Support Iverefined | Depressed Self-conscious Guilt-ridden Moralistic Withdrawn Stubborn Moody Self-absorbed |
Patterns
Thinking and Feeling Patterns
- Fours values authentic expressions of a wide range of emotions.
- Their thought patterns center on what is missing in a given situation and on longing for what they perceive as ideal but somehow unavailable.
- They appreciate meaningful interactions rooted in real feelings and have a keen aesthetic sensibility based on translating emotional experience into artistic expression.
- Still, they tend to overidentify with feelings and dwell in melancholy (or anger).
Behavior Patterns
- Fours can be reserved and withdrawn, energetic and active, or both.
- They are emotionally intuitive, empathic, and intense.
- At the same time, specific behavior patterns vary according to subtype.
- Fours generally aren’t afraid of conflict.
- They will work tirelessly when they feel passionately connected to something.
Arrows
When secure, Fours move towards the positive side of Type 1 – The Reformer.
- More self-disciplined and grounded.
- Become more practical.
- Do more problem-solving.
- Act on solid ideals and principles.
- Less controlled by their feelings.
When stressed, Fours move towards the negative side of Type 2 – The Helper.
- Try to manipulate others into loving them
- believe another’s love will fill their emptiness
- deny and repress their own needs
- become overly dependent
- act out to get attention and feel special
Wings
Wings add flavor to your personality. Every Enneagram personality type can have either of the two types next to them as their Wing.
Fours can have Wing Three (Enneagram 4w3) or Wing Five (Enneagram 4w5).
Enneagram 4w3
Of the four personality types’ two wings, Type 3 – The Achiever wing adds energy, ambition, and competitiveness to the otherwise withdrawn Four.
Fours get more image-conscious with a Three Wing – and usually more productive.
They are better at hiding their emotional turmoil to go out, be sociable, and turn their dreams into action. It’s basically what you get when you want to be both unique and accomplished.
With the outgoing, people-focused nature of the average Three in their mix, Fours with this Wing make more effort to communicate themselves to others and find a way to express all those complex emotions inside them.
If they go the artistic way, these are the kinds of Fours who also have the drive to see their work published, exhibited, and put on stage.
They want the world to see the glittering products of their minds.
The whole thing of Threes is to be seen as flourishing and admired for what they do.
Some of these motivators swap over to the Four.
Status, refinement, good taste, culture, sophistication – all these things become more critical for Fours with a Three Wing.
They get someone who is more practical but often also more extravagant.
When Healthy | When Unhealthy |
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They possess creativity, drive, and a desire to improve. They are adaptable and sensitive to others. They are goal-oriented and want to make something of themselves in the world. | They can become self-inhibited. They can suffer from depression. They can become self-contemptuous. They can hold secret envy of others. |
Enneagram 4w5
You notice a Type 5 – The Investigator wing in a Four when you find them on the more introverted, unconventional, and private side of this personality type.
They are quieter about their ideas than their counterparts with Three Wings, less interested in status, and more interested in putting their ideas into action.
They are usually much happier doing their unique things for themselves and nobody else.
Both Fours and Fives have withdrawn types.
Four’s drawback is that they do it to protect their feelings, while Five does it to protect the security of their minds.
Both those things reinforce each other in this combination.
These Fours are still markedly more concerned with their inner emotional world than Fives. Still, they are more observant and intellectual about it, at the cost of finding it more challenging to put their brilliant thoughts into practice.
They are much more likely to keep things to themselves, be secretive about their discoveries, and try to be enigmatic on purpose when they talk to make themselves appear even more mysterious and unique.
Where the Three Wings exacerbate the Four’s extravagance, the Five Wing increases their eccentricity.
At the same time, they tend to live simpler—if still superbly unique and bohemian—lives than their counterparts with a three-wing, being more comfortable with living inside their baroque fantasies than having to show their status to the world.
When Healthy | When Unhealthy |
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Observant of their environment. Intellectual depth and intensity, profoundly creative. They are intuitive and insightful. Self-expression is highly personal. | They can become secretive and withdrawn. They can become preoccupied with their thoughts. They can become lost in emotional turmoil. They can alienate others and become pessimistic. |
Relationships
When Healthy | When Unhealthy |
---|---|
They are empathetic. They are supportive. They are gentle. They are playful. They are passionate. They are witty. They self-revealing and bond quickly. | They can be too self-absorbed. They can become jealous. They can become emotionally needy. They can become moody. They can become self-righteous. They can become overly critical. They can become easily hurt and feel rejected. |
Styles
Interpersonal Coping Style
- Withdrawn – Withdraw because they do not believe they will be able to express themselves wholly or have the ideal relationships they long for.
Conflict Style
- Reactive: Identify with and act on solid emotional reactions; withdraw into the inner world; issues become more significant than life; despair and hopelessness.
Sub-types
Self-Preservation Subtype – Tenacity (countertype)
- Where some Fours are dramatic and emotional, this countertype has learned to live with pain, stoically suffering, and internalizing negative emotions, and wants to be recognized for being tough and not complaining.
- Even though they are pretty sensitive, they may be disconnected from their feelings and prefer not to share their pain with others.
- They are empathic and look out for and try to support others who suffer.
- As the countertype of the Fours, Self-Preservation Fours are stoic in the face of their inner pain and don’t share it with others as much as the other two Fours.
- This is a person who learns to tolerate pain and to do without as a way of earning love. Instead of dwelling in envy,
- Self-Preservation Fours act out jealousy by working hard to get what others have.
- More masochistic than melodramatic, these Fours demand a lot of themselves, have a solid need to endure, and have a passion for effort.
Social Subtype – Shame
- This emotionally sensitive Four is deeply connected to their suffering.
- They find comfort in suffering and express it to others, often attracting support and admiration.
- They are not competitive but deeply desire to be understood for who they are.
- They often doubt themselves and focus on what they see as inferiority; they compare to others and blame themselves, triggering solid feelings of envy and shame.
- The Social Four suffers more, feels more shame, and is more sensitive than the other two Fours.
- Envy fuels a focus on shame and suffering as they employ a strategy of seducing others into meeting their needs through an intensification of pain and suffering.
- They experience a sense of comfort in feeling melancholy.
- Envy also manifests in lamenting too much, taking on the victim role, and focusing on their inferiority.
- Social Fours don’t compete with others as much as they compare themselves to others and find themselves lacking.
One-to-One Subtype – Competition
- This Four subtype is intense and vocal about their needs and feelings and is often described as ‘more shameless than shameful’ and mistype with Three and Eight.
- They tend to be demanding and competitive, escaping suffering by being the best in what they do.
- Demanding that others appreciate their needs may lead to a cycle of rejection, frustration, and anger.
- Their ability to express these feelings of demand and anger may mask how sad or confused they feel.
- They make others suffer as an unconscious way of trying to rid themselves of painful feelings of deficiency.
- In denying their suffering and being more shameless than shameful, they express their needs more and can be demanding of others.
- In seeking to be the best, they say envy manifests as competition.
- They express “an envy that wants,” unconsciously turning their pain at inner lack into anger about not getting what they need from others.
Personal Growth
They must see that your attention remains in the present and doesn’t continually stray into the past or future.
You need to confront the experience of loss in your life and admit the rage you feel against the person in question, and you have to stop idolizing them in the wake of that loss.
Do not pay too much attention to your feelings; as you probably already know, they are not a trustworthy source of support.
Remember this advice: “From our present perspective, we can also see that one of the most severe mistakes Fours make is to equate themselves with their feelings.
The fallacy is that to understand themselves, they must understand their feelings, particularly their negative ones, before acting.
They do not see that the self is not the same as its feelings or that negative emotions do not preclude the company of good in themselves”.
Always remember that your feelings are telling you something about yourself as you are at this particular moment, not necessarily more than that.
Avoid putting off things until you are “in the right mood.”
Commit yourself to productive, meaningful work that will contribute to your good and that of others, no matter how small the contribution may be.
Working consistently in the real world will create a context where you can discover yourself and your talents.
They are happiest when working—activating their potential and realizing themselves.
You will not “find yourself” in a vacuum or while waiting for inspiration to strike, so connect—and stay connected—with the real world.
Self-esteem and self-confidence will develop only from positive experiences, whether you believe they are ready to have them.
Therefore, put yourself in the way of good.
They may never feel ready to take on a challenge and always need more time.
Fours typically never feel sufficiently “together,” but they must have the courage to stop putting off their lives.
Even if you start small, commit yourself to doing something that will bring out the best in you.
Wholesome self-discipline takes many forms, from sleeping regular hours to regularly working to exercising regularly, and has a cumulative, strengthening effect.
Since it comes from yourself, healthy self-discipline does not contradict your freedom or individuality.
On the other hand, sensuality, excessive sexual experiences, alcohol, drugs, sleep, or fantasizing have a debilitating effect on you, as you already know.
Therefore, practice healthy self-discipline and stay with it.
Avoid lengthy conversations in your imagination, mainly if they are hostile, resentful, or excessively romantic.
These conversations are essentially unreal and, at best, only rehearsals for action—although, as you know, you rarely say or do what you imagine you will.
Instead of spending time imagining your life and relationships, begin to live them.
Type Comparisons
Type 4 and Type 1
- Ones and Fours can appear similar because they take work tasks seriously and want to do their best.
- While Ones focuses more on the structure, process, and details of completing tasks, Fours focuses more on relationships, people, and creative expression.
- Both Ones and Fours are idealistic. They appreciate quality, but while One attends to making things as perfect as possible (according to the One’s internal standards), the Four values creativity, authenticity, and aesthetics above a specific ideal of perfection.
- Also, while Ones and Fours base their judgments on their internal sense of what is ideal, Fours is much more conscious of how things look to others.
- Both Ones and Fours can be self-critical. Still, while the One’s inner critic provides a running commentary about how things could have been done more perfectly, the Four experiences a more profound sense of something fundamentally flawed within them.
- One notes grammatical errors and things that are out of alignment or less than ideal, often with little or no emotional reaction other than perhaps slight irritation.
- In contrast, Fours frequently notice what is missing in a given situation and themselves in a larger sense and may have more profound emotional reactions to what they see as absent or “not good enough.”
- Fours attend to other people, paying close attention to their emotional interactions and how much they feel connected to the people around them.
- One is more likely to focus on the structure of relationships or the work tasks they share in common.
- One can see things in black and white, thinking there is one right way to approach a task, while Fours make a lot of room for creativity and self-expression and are more likely to see many ways of approaching a project.
- While both styles will want to perform at a high level and may be perfectionistic in what they do, the One’s priorities are following the rules and the structure and making something as good as it can be according to the One’s standards. In contrast, the Four’s focus is more on creative and authentic self-expression and on whether or not others perceived them as special and unique according to more artistic standards.
- One tends to seem reserved and sometimes may be annoyed or irritated with others when they don’t follow the rules or perform up to their expectations.
- Fours, on the other hand, tend to have more varied and prominent moods and can be very empathic with others’ feelings, having a realistic understanding that people have a range of emotions and attitudes, both in terms of their own experience and that of others.
- At times, Fours can be dramatic and emotionally expressive in communicating with others, while Ones tend to be more controlled, straightforward, concise, and precise.
Type 4 and Type 2
- Twos and Fours share some characteristics in common.
- Both styles are aware of image and pay attention to how others perceive them, but Twos wants to be seen as likable and friendly, and Fours prefers to be viewed as special and unique.
- Their sensitivity to how others see and feel about them also contributes to both styles’ self-criticism, as Twos and Fours can judge themselves for not being good enough to earn other people’s love.
- Both Twos and Fours can feel their emotions fairly readily, though Twos can sometimes repress feelings and may, at times, be out of touch with their inner experience.
- In contrast, Fours can overdo or overidentify feelings or dwell in some feelings to avoid other feelings.
- Interpersonally, Twos and Fours pay great attention to relationships and prioritize achieving connections with others.
- People of both styles have a great capacity for empathy and are typically skilled at creating relationships based on their ability to understand other people’s thoughts and feelings.
- Twos and Fours also differ in many respects.
- Twos tend to be optimistic, upbeat, and supportive when working on a project with others, while Fours often focus on what is missing.
- Twos want to be helpful by meeting others’ needs and neglect their own because their attention is so focused on others.
- Fours have more access to their own needs and wants and make their desires more of a priority.
- Twos are more other-focused, meaning they pay more attention to what others feel and need than their feelings and needs; Fours are more self-referential, focusing their attention on themselves and their inner experience.
- When interacting with others, Twos place a high value on being liked and so often adapt their presentation to be more of what they think others want them to be, while Fours value authenticity and so do not alter as much to please others.
- Twos tend to be averse to conflict, fearing conflict can destroy valued connections with others. At the same time, Fours can engage in battle when necessary, finding it more important to express genuine feelings and needs than accommodate others and avoid anger.
- Twos are usually upbeat in their mood and emotional presentation, while Fours can dwell more in melancholy and sadness.
Type 4 and Type 3
- Threes and Fours can look similar as they have some characteristics in common.
- Both Threes and Fours focus their attention on how others perceive them.
- While Threes pays excellent attention to creating an image of success and achievement according to external standards in specific contexts, Fours focuses on communicating a vision based on their unique sense of what they think is essential to express.
- In addition to focusing on image, both styles belong to the heart triad and are fundamentally oriented toward feelings and emotional connection.
- Although Threes and Fours are feelings-based styles, Threes tend to avoid emotion to accomplish tasks and get things done more efficiently.
- Fours tend to feel their emotions more regularly and can sometimes overidentify with their feelings.
- People of both styles can prioritize relationships and often prioritize approval and recognition.
- Threes and Fours can be intense, creative, hardworking, and competitive.
- Significant differences also exist between Threes and Fours.
- Threes focus on tasks, goals, and work, while Fours emphasize feelings, self-expression, and emotional connections with others.
- When Threes focus on tasks, they usually look for the shortest, most efficient, and fastest path to their goal, while Fours favors a more nonlinear, creative, organic approach to self-expression.
- Threes numb their feelings to get things done, while Fours believes all surfaces should be felt and authentically expressed.
- Threes pursue goals to achieve success as defined by the context or group.
- At the same time, Fours seeks to manifest love and emotional depth ideals through creativity, relational connection, and authentic expression to feel special and unique.
- Threes orient themselves to what others define as successful, placing a high value on attaining the material signs of success like nice clothes and cars.
- At the same time, Fours puts more attention and emphasis on their internal sense of how they feel and what they value.
- Threes focus on specific goals and how to reach them.
- In contrast, Fours focuses on what is missing and needed in a given situation.
- When presenting themselves to others, Threes strives to match the image of whatever other people will think is most attractive or admirable, even if it means conforming to appear as something they’re not (and thus losing sight of who they are), while Fours values authentic self-expression.
- In doing this, Threes identifies with an image of success (and an idealized self-image), often appearing genuinely confident and competent.
- Fours identify with a poor self-image and usually think they are flawed in some way.
- Threes focuses on competing, winning, and avoiding failure, while Fours focuses on authentic connection, self-expression, and aesthetics.
- (Although the Sexual Four may be as competitive as a Three, they compete for more out of a more emotional sense of trying to prove themselves worthy or superior, often motivated by anger or unconscious envy.)
Type 4 and Type 5
- There are some apparent similarities between Fours and Fives.
- Both types can be introverted and tend to withdraw from others.
- Fives regularly make boundaries and move away from interpersonal contact out of a need to conserve energy and internal resources and fear that interacting with others will drain them or invade their private space.
- Fours also tend to need distance from others periodically to engage more deeply with their internal experience.
- Although fours have much more regular contact with their emotions than fives, both fours and fives can intellectualize, meaning they can focus on thinking as a way of disconnecting from feelings.
- Both styles are self-referencing, meaning they focus more on their own internal experience than other people’s experiences.
- Related to this, Fours and Fives can be introspective, paying much attention to what is happening inside themselves.
- Significant differences also exist between Fours and Fives.
- Fours represent one of the most emotional types; they often have contact with their feelings on a deep level.
- On the other hand, fives are among the least emotional, habitually detaching from their feelings.
- Fives avoid deep connections when relating to others, as they feel more comfortable limiting their emotional entanglements. In contrast, Fours typically seek out deep emotional relationships with others.
- Fives usually keep their feelings to themselves and value self-sufficiency, and Fours tend to share their feelings with others and value emotionally authentic relationships.
- When evaluating a situation or task, Fives communicates a detached, objective point of view.
- In contrast, Fours’ particular strength is their emotional intuition; they tend to see things more dynamically or emotionally creatively.
- Fives enjoy being alone and having a lot of private time.
- While Fours can also appreciate time alone, they are sensitive to abandonment and loss and enjoy maintaining solid emotional connections.
- Fives tend to be reserved and withholding and can be sensitive to intrusion in a relationship.
- Fours are more dramatic, romantic, and passionate in their relationships.
- In addition, Fives can quickly feel drained by the needs of others, while Fours are usually very sensitive and empathic in the face of others’ needs.
- Finally, Fives tend to minimize their needs and desires, while Fours often dwell in an experience of desiring and longing for their needs to be met.
- Thus, when Fours lack what they need, they feel the pain acutely, while Fives detach from pain and focus on hoarding, economizing, and conserving to cope with not having enough of what they need.
Type 4 and Type 6
- Fours and Sixes can have very similar outward styles.
- Both Fours and Sixes are intuitive and skilled at reading others. Sixes protect themselves from threats by observing other people’s intentions, and Fours are emotionally intuitive and empathic. These traits help them form supportive relationships.
- People of both types can be good troubleshooters: Fours because they naturally see what’s missing in a specific situation, and Sixes because they automatically think about what might go wrong so that they can prepare for it.
- Fours and Sixes can challenge authorities and the established way of doing tasks and projects.
- Fours can be nonconformist because they have original perspectives and are oriented to depth and the authentic expression of feelings.
- Sixes can rebel because they think contrarily and feel unsafe with and suspicious of those who have power over them.
- Both Fours and Sixes tend to have negative feelings about themselves.
- Fours usually feel they are defective or missing something somehow, and Sixes tend to doubt, question, and blame themselves.
- Both Fours and Sixes can get stuck in life and have a hard time moving forward. Fours can be overly self-critical and overly attached to specific emotions, believing things are hopeless, and Sixes can overthink issues and events, experience “analysis paralysis,” doubt their abilities, and fear success.
- There are also clear distinctions between Fours and Sixes.
- Fours are sensitive to how others might perceive them and want to be seen as unique and original.
- On the other hand, Sixes does not focus on the image others have of them as much.
- Fours wants to stand out and be viewed as unique in the eyes of others, and Sixes identifies more with the underdog and the “everyman/everywoman” archetype.
- Fours live primarily from and in their emotions, while Sixes dwell more in their heads and are predominantly mental and analytical.
- Sixes’ most regular emotional experiences involve fear, doubt, and worry, while Fours more often feels emotions related to sadness and melancholy.
- Sixes search for certainty and inevitably don’t find it or adhere to something specific out of a need for certainty.
- Fours mainly focus on what they don’t have that others have—often an unattainable love relationship—thinking they can finally be happy if they can attain it.
- Finally, Fours’ chief aim is to feel loved and appreciated for who they are, while Sixes focuses more on feeling safe in the world.
Type 4 and Type 7
- Fours and Sevens share some traits that can make them look alike.
- Both types are very romantic, with Fours focusing on ideals of love and connection and Sevens focusing more on envisioning the suitable in the broader array of imaginative realms.
- Most notably, Fours and Sevens appreciate and seek out intense and stimulating experiences.
- Fours do this because they live from their feelings, appreciate the rich experience of deeply felt emotion and passionate connections with other people, and dislike the mundane experience.
- Sevens pursue intensity and stimulation because they want to keep their mood up and their experiences fun and cheerful to move away from less optimistic, less intense, potentially empty, dull, or unpleasant alternatives.
- Both types have an aversion to the day, the mundane, and the ordinary, finding this realm of experience potentially empty and thus dull or even anxiety-producing.
- Both Fours and Sevens value creativity and self-expression. Fours want to be seen and understood as special and unique and appreciate aesthetics and artistry, and Sevens are natural visionaries who imagine varied future possibilities, have many interests and ideas, and enjoy the vital and exciting aspects of creative expression.
- In relating to others, both Fours and Sevens are self-referencing; that is, they focus more on their own experience instead of focusing primarily on others.
- When Fours pay attention to their own experience, they usually do so emotionally, focusing on their feelings and moods.
- When Sevens focus on themselves, however, they often focus on their thoughts, plans, and desires for amusement and pleasurable experiences.
- They look to the outside world for entertainment opportunities.
- Both Fours and Sevens can also be sensitive to criticism, with Fours feeling criticism as an extra blow to their already diminished sense of themselves as not good enough, and Sevens experiencing it as a hurtful interruption of their youthful desire to focus on what’s positive.
- Fours and Sevens also differ in specific ways.
- Although both styles are romantic, Sevens tend to be relentlessly optimistic.
- Conversely, fours can be somewhat pessimistic, especially to the outside observer, as Fours draws attention to what is missing.
- Also, Fours and Sevens have very different profiles regarding their experience of feelings.
- Sevens tend to focus on and dwell in positive feelings, naturally having very upbeat, happy temperaments.
- Connected to this, Sevens can struggle with more complex emotions, such as sadness or discomfort.
- On the other hand, Fours are more comfortable with a wide range of emotions and tend to feel darker feelings like disappointment or melancholy more regularly and comfortably.
- Similarly, Sevens often reframe negatives into positives, while Fours can feel irritated when people tell them to “look on the bright side.”
- Instead, fours tend to focus on what is missing or unavailable that they would like to have or be, making them more aware of the negative side of situations, issues, and relationships.
- Four’s comfort with feelings makes them good supporters of others experiencing difficulties, while Sevens have a more challenging time being with and empathizing with others in pain.
- Sevens feel challenged by dealing with suffering, but they also feel much more comfortable and at ease and focus on positive feelings.
- Conversely, Fours can find richness in suffering and see it as a natural and valuable part of the human experience.
- Furthermore, Fours seeks deep connections with others based on sharing authentic feelings. In contrast, Sevens can feel hesitant about making commitments and exploring relationships on a deep emotional level because they dislike feeling limited and tend to move away from engaging too profoundly with others sometimes.
- Lastly, Fours values authenticity and depth, while Sevens prioritizes charm and a positive, fun-loving presentation (which Fours can find superficial or insincere).
Type 4 and Type 8
- Fours and Eights can appear similar.
- People of both types are willing to engage in conflict and can confront people if necessary, though Eights tend to do this more regularly than Fours.
- Fours and Eights can both feel and express big emotions.
- However, Eights tend to express anger more frequently than other emotions.
- Fours can more readily feel a range of emotions, especially experiencing melancholy more regularly than people of different types.
- Both Eights and Fours are drawn to intensity, and both types also feel things passionately, though Fours are much more likely than Eights to feel their vulnerable feelings.
- Both Fours and Eights can be impulsive and feel justified in breaking the rules—Eights because they are more significant than the rules, and Fours because they prioritize their internal experience and their own needs and wants over the rules.
- In the work setting, both Fours and Eights can work hard and be deeply involved. Fours views work as an opportunity for self-expression and collaborative artistry. At the same time, Eights wants to make a significant impact, achieve and maintain power, and mentor and protect the people they work with.
- Significant differences also exist between Fours and Eights.
- Fours typically experience a more comprehensive range of emotions than Eights, with Eights feeling more anger and impatience than Eights and Fours feeling more melancholy and sadness.
- Importantly, Eights dislikes being vulnerable and expressing any vulnerable feelings—and regularly denies the existence of such surfaces.
- In contrast, Fours regularly experience vulnerable emotions and can even handle some degree of comfort in an authentic and deep experience of their vulnerability.
- Eights have difficulty recognizing their physical limits, dependency needs, and softer emotions.
- At the same time (with the possible exception of some Sexual Fours), Fours are much more familiar with their limitations, sense of dependency, and softer emotions.
- In addition, Fours usually put much more effort than Eights into meeting their physical and emotional needs.
- When in relationships, Eights typically express love through protection and power, while Fours express love through an expression of feelings and their desire for connection.
- While people of both types may challenge established authorities, Eights are usually more regularly rebellious than Fours.
- Generally, Eights focuses on the big picture and strategizes how to move things forward. At the same time, Fours pays more attention to the creative process, attracting attention and being appreciated for their unique contributions.
- Fours and Eights can have significant energy when working with others.
- Eights tend to be very assertive and can even be aggressive and dominating.
- At the same time, Fours are more oriented to achieving emotional connections with others (though Sexual Fours may also be assertive or aggressive).
- Related to this, Eights tend to misperceive their impact on others. At the same time, Fours are emotionally intuitive and can be highly sensitive to how they affect the people around them.
- In communicating, Eights tend to be direct, while Fours express themselves more descriptively when experiencing something emotionally.
- Eights do not pay much attention to internal processes, while Fours can be very reflective.
Type 4 and Type 9
- Fours and Nines have some characteristics in common.
- They can look alike in that they both value cultivating relationships and achieving connections with others.
- In addition, both types can lose themselves by merging with loved ones, though Nines do this more regularly than Fours, who can more easily sense their independent needs and desires.
- Both Fours and Nines can relatively easily and profoundly understand other people. Fours are emotionally intuitive and sensitive to the moods and feelings of others, and Nines can often see others’ perspectives more clearly than their own and align with other people to create harmony.
- On the downside, Fours and Nines can feel overlooked and unimportant to others and may regularly feel others misunderstand them.
- However, Fours most often experience emotions related to being misunderstood or “not good enough.” Nines experience more being overlooked and not heard, usually because Nines have a hard time taking a solid position or expressing a clear opinion.
- Another fundamental similarity is that both types fear not belonging.
- Fours tend to feel like misfits, while Nines often have a deep underlying concern about whether or not they belong to the group.
- Fours and Nines also differ in significant ways.
- Fundamentally, Nines are other-referencing, and Fours are self-referencing, meaning that Nines primarily pay attention to other people’s opinions, agendas, and moods. At the same time, Fours prioritizes their internal experience, focusing more on their needs, feelings, and desires.
- Fours also feel a more comprehensive range of emotions more intensely than Nines do; Nines tend to be more steady and even emotional.
- Nines can quickly draw their attention away from their priorities and toward less essential substitutes and others’ agendas.
- In contrast, Fours are more aware of and focused on satisfying their needs and wants.
- Nines are oriented toward creating harmony among people.
- Unfortunately, this is much less of a priority for the Four, who may even create or contribute to discord to push for authentic communication of feelings.
- Nines often avoid conflict, while Fours can engage in battle if necessary or may even create conflict.
- Nines usually do not state their preferences, often because they don’t know what they want, but sometimes because they believe that others’ opinions are more important than their own or don’t want to create a conflict.
- In contrast, Fours tend to believe that their opinions are valuable and that it is essential to express them.
- Fours do not constantly adapt to others, regularly feeling moved to express their disagreement or unique perspective. In contrast, Nines tend to over-adjust to others, often thinking their connection will be broken if they do not adapt.
- Because of this tendency to adapt to others, Nines also have difficulty saying “no” and asserting themselves.
- On the other hand, Fours can more often and more easily make boundaries with others and assert their agendas.
Enneagram Type 4 Careers
- They can be excellent designers, decorators, writers, painters, musicians, “thespians,” and “divas.”
- They can distinguish themselves in any field that requires creativity and style.
- They can inspire, influence, and persuade through the arts (music, fine art, dancing) and the written or spoken word (poetry, novels, journalism, and teaching).
- Many like to help bring out the best in people as psychologists or counselors.
- Some take pride in the small businesses they own.
- Often, fours accept mundane jobs to support their creative pursuits.
Enneagram Type 4 Personality Type Cross-reference
Enneagram Type 4 is strongly correlated with a preference for Intuition and Feeling.
It is also more likely to be associated with Introversion than Extraversion.
In order of likelihood, the types most likely to be Enneagram Type 4 are INFP (42%—57% of INFPs are 4), INFJ (29%—44% of INFJs are 4), ISFP (27%—35% of ISFPs are 4), and ENFP (23%—25% of ENFPs are 4).
These three types comprise 56% and 65% of Enneagram Type 4.
An additional 19 – 31% of Enneagram Type 4 are ISFJs and ESFPs because it is not an uncommon type for them and their overall prevalence in the population.