Type 9 - The Peacemaker
The Easygoing, Self-Effacing Type
- Receptive
- Reassuring
- Agreeable
- Complacent
Fear of loss and separation from others
- They strive to maintain peace and harmony internally and externally.
- Their pervasive, underlying fear is that they will become disconnected from others and out of sync with the world around them.
- They feel secure and okay as long as they live in harmony with the people and world around them.
- They constantly move away from conflict and pain and toward peace, stability, and harmony.
Basic Desire
- To have inner stability, "peace of mind."
Key Motivation
- To have peace of mind and create harmony in their environment.
Core Wounds
- You feel the loss of connection to caregivers, to fear losing connection to others.
- Self-perception that you are unimportant, inadequate, and insignificant.
- You believe you need to forget yourself and accommodate others.
- You avoid strong opinions or drawing attention to yourself.
Center of Intelligence
The Gut / Body / Instinctive - Anger / Rage
- Represses anger as the primary strategy.
- They don't like donating or acknowledging anger, so they tend to 'smolder' 'underneath.
- They tend to be receptive, reassuring, complacent, and resigned.
Personality Type Cross-reference
MBTI / Keirsey - Idealist (NF - Intuition / Feeling)
Temperaments
- Temperament Type - Phlegmatic
- Animal Type - Otter
- DISC Type - Influential
- Socio-Communicative Type - Expressive
- True Colors - Blue
- Color Code - Blue
- Personality Compass - West
MBTI / Keirsey - Artisan (SP - Sensing / Perceiving)
Temperaments
Core Wounds
- You feel the loss of connection to caregivers, to fear losing connection to others
- Self-perception that you are unimportant, inadequate, and insignificant
- You believe you need to forget yourself and accommodate others
- You avoid strong opinions or drawing attention to yourelf
Center of Intelligence
The Gut / Body / Instinctive - Anger / Rage- Represses anger as the primary strategy.
- They don’t like showing or acknowledging anger, so they tend to ‘smolder’ underneath.
- They don’t let the self or others know they’re stewing.
- They tend to be receptive, reassuring, complacent, and resigned.
Traits
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Focus of Attention
- Nines focus on others, what is happening in the environment, avoiding conflict, and achieving harmony.
- Nines typically tune into what other people want but do not clearly understand their agendas.
Patterns of Thinking and Feeling
- Nines focus on getting along with others without “rocking the boat” and creating conflict.
- They’re emotionally steady and do not feel many highs or lows.
- Though they are anger types, Nines usually don’t feel their anger very often—they (unconsciously) dissociate from it as a way to avoid conflict or separation from others—so it tends to leak out in repressed forms, such as stubbornness or passive-aggressive behavior, or escape in big bursts every once in a while.
Behavior Patterns
- Nines like to “go with the flow,” and they automatically accommodate the agendas of others as a way of unconsciously avoiding expressing (or even registering) any preferences that could lead to conflict.
- However, they may passively resist later when hints of latent desires surface.
- They dislike feeling controlled but like structure and clear lines of authority.
- They make good mediators because they can easily see all sides of an issue and naturally find common ground in conflicting points of view.
Passion—Laziness
- Laziness refers to an inaction of the psyche, a refusal to see, a resistance to change, and an aversion to the effort, especially about being aware of their inner feelings, sensations, and desires.
- Rather than reluctance to take action, this passion is more about inattention to self and inertia of the will when it comes to tuning in to what is going on internally.
Arrows
When secure moves towards positive side of Type 3 - The Achiever
- Energetic
- efficient
- productive
- narrow their focus
- acquire self-confidence
- live less through others
- take more control of their lives
When stressed moves towards negative side of Type 6 - Loyalist
- Become overwhelmed by anxiety and worry
- self-doubting
- indecisive
- rigid
- passive
- inactive
Wings
| Type 8 – The Challenger | |
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| Type 1 – The Reformer | |
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Relationships
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Addictions
- Over-eating or under-eating due to lack of self-awareness and repressed anger
- Lack of physical activity
- Depressants and psychotropics, alcohol, marijuana, narcotics to deaden loneliness and anxiety
Red Flags
- Overly accommodating
- Passive-aggressive behavior
- Fixating on long-hidden complaints
- Tuning out
Interpersonal Coping Style
- Withdrawn - Withdraw because they believe they do not matter and prefer to feel comfortable.
Conflict Style
- Positive - Avoidant approach to problems and conflict, sticking their heads in the sand, ignoring and denying reality.
Self-Preservation Subtype
Appetite
- The most ‘Eight-ish’ Nine, this subtype is concerned with meeting physical needs, focused on activities such as eating, reading, or sleeping for comfort and well-being.
- These activities are typically a strategy to escape or comfort themselves through fulfilling their appetites.
- Peace and time alone are important to them, and they may be irritable and stubborn when others upset their balance or create problems.
- Instead of feeling an ongoing connection to their feelings, desires, and power, they focus on merging with physical comforts and routine activities, such as eating, sleeping, reading, or doing crossword puzzles.
- They are practical, concrete people who focus on everyday things rather than abstractions.
Social Subtype
Participation (countertype)
- This friendly, social Nine “leans in” and participates fully, often taking the role of mediator or facilitator in groups.
- They put their issues aside, maintain a happy front to avoid burdening others, and make sacrifices to meet group needs.
- They take comfort from feeling part of things in a broader group or community. Working hard to keep the people in their life happy, they may risk becoming workaholics, hiding their pain or stress.
- Social Nines fuse with groups.
- They act out laziness when connecting with their inner life by working hard to be a part of the different groups in their lives.
- Fun-loving, friendly, and likable characters, Social Nines can be workaholics, prioritizing the group’s needs above their own.
- This high level of activity makes them the countertype of the three Nine subtypes.
One-to-One Subtype
Fusion
- This subtype fuses deeply with significant others in relationships to feed their sense of self and comfort.
- They tend to feel more secure when partnered with others and may find it challenging to be alone.
- They resist paying attention to themselves, their passions, and desires and tend to go along with the preferences of others, even if this means sacrificing their plans and needs.
- They express their passion for laziness by merging with the important people in their lives.
- They unconsciously take on the attitudes, opinions, and feelings of others because it can feel too hard to stand on their own.
- These Nines are kind, gentle, shy characters who are not very assertive.
Dilemma
- The temptation of nines consists in belittling themselves – especially in their own eyes.
- At first glance, nines seem humble. Still, they often conceal false modesty and fear revealing themselves.
- The defense mechanism of nines is narcosis or numbing.
- Because they often don't feel adequate to life's many strains and challenges, they take refuge more than other types do in some addictions.
- Nines seek stimulants and strong sensations from outside because they struggle to stimulate themselves.
- Nines sometimes give the impression of being absent-minded or slightly befuddled.
- They can fall asleep in broad daylight if nothing is happening around them.
- In distressing situations, nines often withdraw.
- They don't want to burden other people and don't consider may understand them and be able to help them.
- The root sin of nines is laziness.
- Immature nines are comfortable and have weak instinctual drives.
- They have problems taking the initiative, developing projects and perspectives, taking jobs, and carrying them through.
- The pitfall of nines is lethargy and comfort.
- The attitude of many nines is, "The thing isn't worth the effort. Why should I stand when I can sit?"
- Parents who are nines sometimes have problems actively attending to their children.
- This can easily give children the false impression that their parents don't care about them.
- Nines avoid conflict.
- Aside from stubbornness and sleep, they have at least two other possibilities of indirectly communicating their displeasure without exposing themselves to violent emotions: sitting it out or retreating.
- Nines can persistently refuse to contribute anything toward changing a situation.
- It will take long before nines express their rage.
- In partnership, nines often find that they are torn back and forth between strong wishes for fusion (symbiosis) and a deep-seated need for autonomy.
- Nines themselves often have no clear standpoint.
- They can shift to and accept any standpoint whatsoever.
- Nines must seek their gifts and bring them to light.
Personal Growth
- You need the experience of being wanted, important, and having something to give.
- You need to learn to believe that there is a golden kernel in you and that you have an energy source that makes you capable of acting purposefully and decisively.
- It helps you when you consciously struggle to find your standpoint instead of orienting yourself toward others.
- It is worth examining your type's tendency to go along with others, doing what they want to keep the peace and be nice.
- Will constantly acquiescing to the wishes of others provide the kind of relationships that will satisfy you?
- Remember, it is impossible to love others if you are not truly present to them.
- This means that you have to be yourself, that you (paradoxically) have to be independent so that you can be there for others when they need you.
- Exert yourself. Force yourself to pay attention to what is going on. Do not drift off or tune out people, or daydream.
- Work on focusing your attention to become an active participant in the world around you.
- Try to become more mentally and emotionally engaged.
- Recognize that you also have aggressions, anxieties, and other feelings that you must deal with.
- Negative feelings and impulses are a part of you. They affect you emotionally and physically whether or not you acknowledge them.
- Furthermore, your negative emotions are often expressed inadvertently and get in the way of the peace and harmony you want in your relationships.
- It is best to get things out in the open first, at least by allowing yourself to become aware of your feelings.
- Although this will be very painful for you if your marriage has ended in divorce or you have problems with your children, you must honestly examine how you have contributed to these problems.
- Examining troubled relationships will be extremely difficult because the people involved have been close to your heart.
- Your feelings for others endow you with much of your identity and self-esteem.
- But if you love others, you can do no less than examine your role in whatever conflicts have arisen. In the last analysis, the choice is simple: you must sacrifice your peace of mind (in the short run) for the satisfaction of genuine relationships (in the long run.)
- Exercise frequently to become more aware of your body and emotions.
- Some Nines run errands and think they are getting enough exercise.
- Regular exercise is a healthy form of self-discipline. It will increase your awareness of your feelings and other sensations.
- Developing body awareness will help teach you to concentrate and focus your attention in other areas of your life as well.
- Exercise is also a good way to get in touch with and express some aggression.
Nines and Ones
- Ones and Nines share several characteristics in common.
- In work settings, both appreciate structure and process.
- Both Ones and Nines make good mediators, Nines because they can easily see many sides of an issue and feel motivated to create harmony, and Ones because they have standards of fairness and can be objective and discerning judges.
- Both styles tend to have difficulty noticing and asserting their own needs and want, and both can be perfectionistic, though Ones are usually more perfectionistic than Nines.
- Both Ones and Nines can work well within and respect the existing authority structure, though Nines will sometimes rebel in subtle, passive ways if they feel controlled.
- Many differences also exist between Ones and Nines.
- Ones tend to be pretty opinionated, often believing they know the one right way to do something, and Nines can have a hard time locating their own opinion as a natural consequence of being so attuned to other people’s varied perspectives.
- Nines typically don’t assert a position, while Ones often assume their position is the only correct point of view.
- Related to this, Ones think in terms of black and white and believe there is “one right way,” while Nines see many shades of gray.
- Although both styles want to avoid conflict, the Nine does so more than the One, who may be unable to stop arguing when they feel strongly about something.
- Ones like to do things their way, and Nines adapt more easily to others, often preferring to follow someone else’s agenda rather than asserting their own.
- When accomplishing a task, Ones make a lot of effort to make things perfect, relying on their ideal internal standards, whereas Nines are more oriented to what other people think and want.
- Ones usually have a clear vision of the correct way to do things, while Nines seeks consensus, wanting to hear from others when making decisions about the standards.
- Ones are more observant of rules and will confront those who do not follow the rules, while Nines are more easy-going and much less likely to confront people who don’t obey guidelines.
Nines and Twos
- Twos and Nines are two types with many traits in common.
- They both tend to focus on others, so they often forget or neglect their needs and wants in favor of allowing others’ needs and desires to be in the foreground.
- Both styles over-adjust to others, with Twos altering their behavior to be what they think other people want them to be so they will like them and Nines blending with others’ agendas to create harmony and reduce tension and separation.
- Twos and Nines can make good mediators because they easily see and understand others’ perspectives and opinions—in fact, they can usually see others’ points of view more clearly than their own.
- To outside observers, Twos and Nines appear likable, friendly, and caring.
- People of both types have little or no contact with their anger, though some Twos occasionally feel angry when their unexpressed needs are unmet.
- Uncomfortable with anger and oriented to maintaining positive connections with others, both Twos and Nines regularly avoid conflict, though again, some Twos can be more open to conflict at times when their more emotional nature drives them there.
- Twos and Nines can engage in passive-aggressive behavior as it may be hard for them to assert themselves and express anger more directly out of fear that they will break important connections with other people.
- While Twos and Nines can look very similar, they do have some contrasting traits.
- While both types focus their attention primarily on others instead of themselves, Twos tend to focus more on feelings and tend to feel their emotions more readily. In contrast, Nines focus more on maintaining an energetic harmony with others.
- Twos tend to feel a wider range of stronger emotions more frequently than Nines, who tend to be more emotionally steady and even.
- Twos move more actively toward others, proactively reading their needs and preferences to aid in their effort to align with them emotionally, while Nines do not seek out connections with others as actively and do not read people’s needs as much.
- In addition, Twos are more selective when it comes to the individuals they seek to establish relationships with.
- Twos tend to be more attracted to some people than others. At the same time, Nines are more democratic and do not make purposeful efforts to pursue connections with particular people in the ways that Twos typically do.
- Twos tend to have a more active, higher energy level and a faster pace than Nines, who usually appear more relaxed and easygoing.
- While both styles can abandon themselves in favor of paying attention to others, Twos tend to repress needs and feelings, while Nines “forget” or avoid paying attention to their desires and agendas.
- Nines tend to tune out to their agenda, while Twos often have a clear agenda even though they may ignore what they need.
Nines and Threes
- Threes and Nines share some characteristics.
- Threes and Nines are optimistic, upbeat, and likable.
- People of both types can be hardworking and practical, though Threes more regularly focus on working excessively hard.
- Threes and Nines also depend on external support for a sense of identity and direction.
- Threes read other people to see what they view as successful and then design their image to match that picture of success to gain the approval and admiration of others.
- Disliking conflict and lacking a clear sense of their inner agenda, Nines references others and then goes along with the wishes and wills of others to find direction and create harmony.
- In addition, both Threes and Nines can sometimes be hard to contact.
- Threes focus a great deal of attention on their lists of things-todo and identify strongly with their image.
- This can make it hard for them to be present and interpersonally aware of a real, solid sense of who they are.
- Similarly, Nines tend to forget themselves and merge with what others want to do to be in harmony with others and avoid conflict.
- Some of the time, however, Nines realize later that they didn’t want to go along with that plan, but they didn’t know it because they tend not to know what they want.
- There are also some critical differences between Threes and Nines.
- On a basic level, Threes focus on accomplishing tasks and reaching goals; conversely, Nines focus more on maintaining comfort and harmony.
- Threes are fast-paced, decisive, and forward-moving.
- Nines move slower and tend to sit on the fence.
- Threes are very work-oriented and can often be workaholics.
- While some Nines can be very hardworking (especially Social Nines), many Nines can have a harder time accomplishing things. They can become caught up in inertia, paralyzed by indecision, or distracted by less essential tasks.
- Threes usually focus very keenly on their goals until they achieve them; in contrast, Nines tend to become easily distracted from their priorities, as their attention tends to get pulled away from their goals and toward supporting others’ goals and agendas.
- Threes can engage in conflict if necessary, especially removing an obstacle to their forward momentum, while Nines usually take great pains to avoid conflict.
- Nines like to stay comfortable, and they tend to avoid moving out of their comfort zone to accomplish tasks they might view as disturbing their peace, like expressing solid opinions in public or confronting someone about something they did incorrectly.
- In contrast, Threes will more readily endure discomfort if it serves their progress toward their goal.
- Finally, Nines have a strong dislike for being the center of attention, while most Threes enjoy being in the spotlight and may even actively seek out situations in which others notice them.
Nines and Fours
- Fours and Nines have some characteristics in common.
- They can look alike in that they both place great importance on cultivating relationships and achieving connections with other people.
- In addition to this, both types can lose themselves by merging with loved ones, though Nines do this more regularly than Fours, who can more easily sense their independent needs and desires.
- Both Fours and Nines can relatively easily profoundly understand other people, Fours because they are emotionally intuitive and sensitive to the moods and feelings of others, and Nines because they can often see others’ perspectives more clearly than their own and they align with other people to create harmony.
- On the downside, Fours and Nines can both feel overlooked and unimportant to others, and they may both regularly have the feeling others misunderstand them.
- For Fours, however, they most often experience emotions related to being misunderstood or “not good enough.” For Nines, their experience is more of being overlooked and not heard, usually because Nines has difficulty taking a strong position or expressing a clear opinion.
- Another key similarity is that both types fear not belonging.
- Fours tend to feel like misfits, while Nines often have a deep underlying concern about whether or not they belong to the group.
- Fours and Nines also differ in significant ways.
- Fundamentally, Nines are other-referencing, and Fours are self-referencing, meaning that Nines primarily pay attention to other people’s opinions, agendas, and moods. At the same time, Fours prioritize their internal experience, focusing more on their needs, feelings, and desires.
- Fours also feel a wider range of emotions more deeply than Nines do; Nines tend to be more steady and even emotionally.
- Nines can easily draw their attention away from their priorities and toward less essential substitutes and others’ agendas. In contrast, Fours are more aware of and focused on satisfying their needs and wants.
- Nines are oriented to creating harmony among people. This is much less of a priority for the Four, who may even create or contribute to discord to push for authentic communication of feelings.
- Nines avoid conflict much of the time, while Fours can engage in battle if necessary or may even create conflict.
- Nines usually do not state their preferences, often because they don’t know what they want, but sometimes because they believe that others’ opinions are more important than their own or don’t want to create a conflict.
- In contrast, Fours tend to believe that their opinions are of value and that it is important to say what they think.
- And Fours do not always adapt to others, regularly feeling moved to express their disagreement or unique perspective. In contrast, Nines tend to over-adjust to others, often thinking their connection will be broken if they do not adapt.
- Because of this tendency to adapt to others, Nines also have difficulty saying “no,” making boundaries and asserting themselves.
- Fours, conversely, can more often and more easily make boundaries with others and assert their agendas.
Nines and Fives
- Fives and Nines share some traits in common, especially from the point of view of an outside observer.
- Energetically, Fives and Nines can both appear reserved and withdrawn, though Nines do not so much start from others as they forget themselves and neglect their agendas and preferences in favor of creating harmony and alignment.
- Both can be good mediators, as Nines can easily see all points of view, and Fives are objective analysts.
- Both Fives and Nines dislike conflict and can be passive-aggressive, though Nines may do this out of an inability to feel their anger directly. Fives may engage in this behavior because they do not want to express their emotions openly or get involved in an emotional situation that could be costly energetically.
- People of both styles have a way of distancing themselves from their own internal experience—Fives by detaching from emotion, and Nines from forgetting about their preferences and opinions.
- When it comes to working with others, both Fives and Nines like structure and regularity, both want to be consulted about what they think and may need time to reflect on that, and both have a sensitivity to and a dislike of being controlled by others.
- There are also some significant differences between Fives and Nines.
- In relating to others, at the most basic level, Nines tend to merge with others, as they find comfort in harmony with people, while Fives tend to withdraw from others, as they fear being depleted by the needs and demands of other people.
- Nines are other-referencing, tending to pay attention primarily to other people, while Fives are self-referencing, focusing more on their own internal experience and boundaries.
- Related to this, Nines are overly adaptive to others, while Fives are under-adaptive to others.
- Frequently not knowing what they want, Nines tend to avoid stating their preferences and may later feel resentful that they went along with others and their wishes were not heard.
- Fives, on the other hand, almost always know what they want and are adept at preventing others from interfering with their actions.
- Nines are often perceived as friendly, courteous, and easygoing, while Fives are perceived as more aloof and reserved.
- Wanting to be close to others harmoniously, Nines often don’t perceive their need for boundaries, so they don’t make boundaries with others. At the same time, Fives prioritize making and maintaining their boundaries.
- Similarly, Nines have a hard time saying no and expressing their preferences in the face of other people‘s wishes, while Fives can much more easily say no.
- Sometimes, Nines will say yes and mean no, while Fives will say no when they want to say no.
- Nines may have difficulty separating from others because of their boundary issues. Fives separate from others very quickly, sometimes to a fault, as withdrawal constitutes one of their primary forms of self-protection.
- For Nines, paying attention to others’ agendas gets in the way of knowing their own; for Fives, paying attention to their agenda makes it hard to let in and make room for the agendas (and feelings) of others.
Nines and Sixes
- Sixes and Nines can look similar.
- Both Sixes and Nines can be loyal, caring, and supportive of others.
- Sixes and Nines both procrastinate.
- Sixes procrastinate because they fear things will go wrong and they fear success, while Nines put off work and other tasks when they have a hard time accessing and staying with their agendas.
- Also, at times, Nines can passively resist forward movement to resist going along with what others want them to do (without saying so and risking potential conflict).
- Sixes can resist their forward progress because they become caught up in questioning, overanalyzing, and doubting.
- Besides, phobic Sixes and Nines want to avoid conflict, though Nines are more extreme.
- People of both types tend to be self-effacing and humble.
- They both dislike being in the spotlight for different reasons.
- Sixes fear even positive attention can make them open to attack, and Nines are very uncomfortable being the center of attention, as they do not even place themselves at the center of their attention.
- Sixes and Nines also have distinct characteristics that reveal the differences between their styles.
- Nines tend to merge with others and trust others easily, while Sixes tend to stand apart and be suspicious, especially at first, until they gather enough information to ascertain whether or not someone is trustworthy.
- Nines tend to go along to get along and to over-adjust to others' preferences—they tend to comply with the wishes of others as a way of avoiding discomfort and potential separation.
- In contrast, Sixes mistrust others and may question or test people before going along.
- In light of this tendency to follow other people's preferences, Nines are easily distracted from their agenda. At the same time, Sixes tend to remain alert in their focus of attention on potential threats.
- Nines can see many different points of view and usually take on a mediating role when parties in a group differ in opinion.
- In contrast, Sixes think in contrarian terms: they can see one side, and then they can see the opposing side, and they tend to see things not in terms of many equally plausible points of view but in terms of questioning and countering whatever view is put forward.
- Nines dislike conflict and do not usually have contact with their anger (which might lead them into a battle), and in this, they differ significantly from the counterphobic Six, who may get angry and move toward conflict in certain situations as a way of dealing with a potential threat.
- Sixes tend to be somewhat (or very) antiauthoritarian. At the same time, Nines, wanting to avoid conflicts and create harmony, will usually go along with and cooperate with authority, at least on the outside.
Nines and Sevens
- Sevens and Nines can look alike because they share some common traits.
- Both have friendly, optimistic dispositions.
- When interacting with others, both have personable, affable styles and like to be around people.
- Wanting to be liked, both Sevens and Nines tend to act in ways that make it easy for other people to like them.
- Both like to keep things positive and avoid conflict if possible, though many Sevens can do conflict if necessary, and most Nines would prefer not to.
- When performing tasks, both Sevens and Nines can have a hard time maintaining a clear focus on the job at hand, with Sevens typically being distracted by more interesting things to do and think about and Nines being frequently distracted by others’ agendas, environmental claims, and inessential tasks.
- Sevens and Nines also differ in several respects.
- While both styles are primarily if unconsciously, concerned with avoiding uncomfortable feelings, Sevens pursue excitement, self-indulgent activities, and fun things to avoid discomfort. In contrast, Nines neglect themselves and forget their opinions and desires to avoid experiencing anger and discomfort.
- Sevens are fast-paced, high-energy characters, while Nines operate more relaxed, often experiencing inertia and indecision related to decisions and tasks.
- When interacting with others, Sevens are self-referencing, focusing their attention mainly on their agenda; in contrast, Nines are other-referencing, paying attention primarily to others and not having a clear or direct experience of their desires.
- Nines merge with others and align with other people’s agendas. At the same time, Sevens have a clear agenda that usually takes priority over other people’s plans when there is a conflict between them.
- It’s usually easy for Sevens to know what they want, while it’s difficult for Nines to know what they want.
- For a Nine, it’s easier to know what they don’t want than what they do want.
- Nines typically don’t state their preferences—which they often don’t know—and then can become resentful of others whose agenda they passively follow along with when they deferred their own, even though they didn’t want to.
- Sevens have their agendas and don’t let other people deter them from the things they want to do.
Nines and Eights
- Eights and Nines have some similar characteristics.
- Both dislike being controlled by others but differ in how they respond to attempts at control from the outside.
- Eights openly rebel, fight against, and potentially actively overpower the other person.
- Nines take a much more passive approach to assert control, often seeming to agree or go along while passively resisting—saying “yes,” but acting out “no.” Both styles are part of the “self-forgetting” triad of types, so both can forget their needs and wants.
- Eights do this through excess and overwork, denying their physical vulnerabilities and taking on too many responsibilities.
- Nines do this by focusing on others and losing conscious contact with their emotions and priorities.
- And both Eights and Nines can readily enjoy and seek out worldly comforts and pleasures.
- Eights and Nines also differ in crucial ways.
- Eights primarily focuses on power and control, while Nines focuses on creating harmony and avoiding conflict.
- Disliking conflict and interpersonal tension, Nines often unconsciously avoid any internal sense of their anger that might cause them to be at odds with someone else. At the same time, Eights have easier access to their anger, may feel angry frequently, and have a much easier time engaging in conflict.
- Eights are highly opinionated and are direct in asserting their opinions, while Nines often do not know their position because they pay so much attention to understanding others’ perspectives.
- For Nines, having an opinion means risking conflict, motivating them to avoid their positions, desires, and strong feelings.
- Nines can easily see everyone’s point of view and are open to seeing many sides of an issue, while Eights see their view most clearly and tend to see issues in terms of black and white.
- Indentifying with multiple perspectives makes Nines an excellent mediator who can see all sides of an issue and is motivated to help create harmony and consensus.
- In contrast, Eights want to assert their opinions and have their way.
- Nines have difficulty making boundaries and saying no, while Eights have an easy time asserting their will and rejecting requests.
- Interpersonally, others often perceive Eights as intimidating, while most see Nines as likable, approachable, and friendly.
- Eights tend to have a significant impact on others, while Nines can have a difficult time making an impact and can also be harder to contact interpersonally.
- Eights like to break the rules, make their own rules, and frequently rebel against authority, while Nines like structure and can more easily work with authority figures.
- And while people of both styles avoid a certain realm of internal experience—Eights deny their vulnerable, softer emotions, and Nines avoid or forget their anger and preferences—Eights are much more open about expressing themselves in the world and acting in forceful ways to get what they need and want.
Career Advice
- They can be excellent Diplomats, Mediators, Therapists, and Counselors.
- They excel in occupations that require diplomacy, calmness, and a gentle personal touch.
- They listen well and are objective.
- They are frequently in helping professions.